Guide to Visiting a New Baby
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Since welcoming N to the world, we’ve had visitors. Not tons, but a few. I feel the need for a small public service announcement of sorts. Share this with all your friends and family. Your mom and mom-to-be friends will thank you. So will the daddies!
*Disclaimer: Not everything below personally applies to the visitors we have had. I am obviously incredibly thankful for any and all visitors (especially those who come bearing dinner). We are very blessed to have so many generous and kind people in our lives. Most of them know how to act around a new baby and a tired mom/dad.
RULES FOR GUIDE TO VISITING A NEW BABY:
- Do not tell us when you plan to arrive, ask us what day and time is best for a visit.
- Do show up at time that was agreed upon. Do not show up late. DEFINITELY do not show up early–it won’t be pretty.
- Do not show up around a meal time unless you are bringing said meal.
- Do bring food. Lots of it. Make it something not incredibly fattening because the momma is trying to squeeze into her old clothes.
- Do tell the mom that she shouldn’t write you a thank you card. Don’t worry, she probably will anyways.
- Scratchy throat? Sniffly nose? Stay away. Far away. If you are immediate family, you may come if you are wearing a mask. I guess.
- WASH YOUR HANDS. Just did? We don’t care. Wash them again. Or just forget about holding the baby.
- Ask permission to hold the baby. Ask permission to touch the baby. Ask permission to burp the baby. Ask permission to feed the baby. We suppose you can look at the baby without getting permission.
- Do expect the mother of the baby to be wearing sweat pants and a sweat shirt. If she isn’t wearing sweats, the proper thing to say is: “WOW! You’re in jeans! I am so impressed!”
- Want to bring a present but unsure what to buy? Diapers. Size 1 or 2. Biggest box you can find. And don’t be stingy, get Pampers. Wipes are good too. Make sure they are unscented, please.
- Do bring something for the sibling(s) as well. Not required, but the parents will think very fondly of you.
- Do tell the mother how great she looks and how it hardly looks like she had a baby and how you wish you looked as good as her after you had a baby and how you’re sooo amazed at how quickly her body bounced back and how she doesn’t even look tired. And to top it off, her house looks amazing. Tell her she is a supermom.
- Oh, and the baby? Cutest one you have ever seen. Duh.
- Do not offer parenting advice unless very specifically asked for it. Even still, tread lightly. Remember the hormones. They are ugly beasts that control us.
- If you still feel the need to offer advice, be prepared for dirty looks and snide remarks. Please don’t take them too personally. Hormones. Beasts. But seriously, shut up and tell us how cute our baby is, okay?
- If you are a family member, offer to vacuum or grocery shop for us.
- Don’t stay long. Please. Unless you’re vacuuming. We love you, but we’re very tired and entertaining is a lot of work.
- Do know that we so appreciate your friendship and thoughtfulness, even if we seem a bit grumpy or forget that pesky thank-you card.
Amanda says
Thanks for the heads up. I appreciate this right before I’m planning to visit a friend with a new baby (esp the part about a little something for their older child)
Maris says
The only point I disagree with you on is:
“Do bring food. Lots of it. Make it something not incredibly fattening because the momma is trying to squeeze into her old clothes.”
You just pushed a baby out of your hmm-hmm. You deserve all the macaroni and cheese you can eat.
Rachel says
LOL! I love it! And I love mac & cheese too, as a matter of fact. :)
Aubrey says
Congratulations on your sweet baby! And this was a GREAT list! I’m having my first in June. I should probably save this list :)
Rachel says
Thanks Aubrey. You’ll totally understand come June. :)
Laurie {Simply Scratch} says
Great post Rachel! You just wrote what all of us moms have thought and wished we could say… but with class and hilarity. Love ya girl! Ps… N is a total cutie pie!
Rachel says
Thanks Laurie! Love you too!
Cookin' Canuck says
I’ll bet you look fabulous right this very minute, your baby is seriously cute (not just saying that to follow the rules) and you are Supermom. As for being ungrateful (re: above comments), it was VERY clear to me that this post was written tongue-in-cheek. Those who take offense have either never been a new parent or are likely rule violators.
Rachel says
Thanks for the kind words, Dara. :)
Jen @ My Kitchen Addiction says
Ok, this is officially the best post I have read in a LONG time. LOVE it… Hope you’re doing well with your new little one!
Rachel says
:) Thanks!
Evi says
Rachel- love this post! After having 2 friends have kids this year I wish I had known this before. One of my friends did the Food Wagon thing (sign up for a date when to bring over food) this way the parents are prepared. Glad to see you posting and handling the kids well all by yourself- mothers such as yourself amaze me! Congrats (again) on the little one & many hugs to your family!
Rachel says
Thanks so much for the kind words, Evi! Love the idea of a food wagon. I could use a wagon full of food. ;)
tijuana (po' man meals) says
this is hilarious! it made me laugh so HARD! i can totally relate to this post… with 4 kids. your baby is so adorable! thanks for this post. i love it! :)
Rachel says
Thanks so much!
Robin says
Wish I was close enough to visit and bring healthy food. The baby is fabulously gorgeous like his mama. You’re a rockstar girlie! oxoxo Robin
Rachel says
Thanks Robin, you are too kind! xo
Jamie @ Thrifty Veggie Mama says
Very cute post, Rachel. Sorry for the above mean comment. I can totally relate to everything on this list!
Rachel says
Thanks Jamie!
Theresa says
Thank you for writing this tongue-in-cheek list! As someone who doesn’t have kids but has lots of friends who are having babies, I often find myself in the position of wanting to help & congratulate them, but having no idea what would be most helpful / appreciated by them. I’m proud of myself for figuring out the “Stay away when sick” and “Bring food” rules on my own though! I always, always bring food :)
Rachel says
Thanks Theresa! Sounds like you are a great visitor.